the cup of f***ing no-leaf water

A scroll through long-ago screenshots earlier in the evening had me posting this to Instagram, where I redacted some of my own language (I left the screenshot unretouched). But here, though my mother will undoubtedly not approve, is the zero-filter version.

“Jim” refers to my sometime-partner, and yes I am using both our real names; Forum members may remember him from that one time with the Brony porn — an episode that did not, I promise, involve either of us deliberately watching any form of porn … but which did, somewhat improbably, involve my sister and a Halloween surgery.

And, I mean — if that doesn’t make you want to join the Forum, what will?? 😂😂😂😂

Anyway.

Okay STORY TIME:

I don’t even remember what I was upset about but one night at my place Jim was being inadequately sympathetic so I told him, between sniffles, that even Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) knew that when somebody was upset you were supposed to give them a hot beverage (non-optional social convention).

That man deadass turned around in my kitchen, RAN A CUP OF FUCKING TAP WATER and stuck it in my microwave for one minute and thirty seconds. He took it out, TESTED THE FUCKING TEMPERATURE with his fingertip, and handed it to me with ABSOLUTELY NO EXPRESSION WHATSOEVER, and said,

“There-there.”

That Jim did not get a cup full of scalding hot water thrown on him and that I ACTUALLY SIPPED IT, just because he’d been so sweet, probably says everything anybody needs to know about either of us 😂😂😂😂😂😂 THAT MAN THO

Maybe next time he’ll upgrade to putting some leaves in my water.