the instructions never work when you don't follow them

I'm just going to PUT THIS OUT HERE ...

Me: **provides extremely specific, detailed instructions**

Students: **something else**

Clients: **something else**

THE UNIVERSE AT LARGE: **something else**

The Universe: WHY IS IT NOT WORKING?!?!?!?

Me: ....

Universe: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

Me: ...

Universe: ...

Me: **choosing between coffee & wine**